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In Between Gatherings
by Richard Rivers

Green River Canoe Trip, May 2007
Nine adventurous ManREACH friends organized a wet and wild, four day-long canoe trip down the Green River in Utah in May 2007. From left to right: Richard Rivers, Larry Jakubiak, Tim Young, Bruce Steuben, Charles Fletcher, Keary Suska, John Peters-Campbell, Michael Ingram and Steve Rust prepare to launch. Photo by Bob Green

I crashed pretty hard after attending my first Colorado ManREACH gathering. By that I mean I was unprepared for the magic that happens at these events. I never had put much faith into the notion of a healthy gay community, but to my surprise I was proven wrong, enjoyed myself thoroughly and was riding an amazing heart-centered high when I left. What surprised me was how difficult it was for me to re-enter the world “on the other side of the trees”, as a friend calls it. It seemed to be a much colder, harsher world than I remembered leaving just four days earlier, one in stark contrast to what I just had experienced at the gathering. What I learned that first time at Camp Kiwanis was that we indeed can create the community we want.

My second post-gathering experience was very different. I was determined to create a softer landing for myself, so I took the extra long way home and practiced recalling the faces and feelings of the event. Even after returning home, I practiced, and during the weeks that followed that practice helped me make the most of a variety of situations, both good and bad. Over the last couple years, I have learned that while it can be difficult for me to leave a gathering, I can remain part of the community in spirit even when I am not physically present in it, if I so choose.

For me, community is being in the place where everyone's individual circle overlaps with everyone else's, just like a Venn diagram right out of Mrs. Nelcamp's tenth grade geometry class. There I see common needs and goals, synergies and possibilities...good…power…something greater than the sum of its parts…and, of course, plenty of opportunities for fun.

Toward that end, I know that I need to set aside time to stay in touch with friends and acquaintances in order to keep those connections alive. I do this in ways that work best for me, of course. For example, last May, I organized a canoe trip down the Green River in Utah for a group nine, our common connection being Colordao ManREACH. It was a sunny, fun, wet, wild and relaxing experience that helped us stay connected in between the gatherings.

The investment of public funds by the state health department and the work of lots of big hearted men throughout the state have been the seeds from which this new community has sprung. I think it should be said out loud and often that each of us, if we so choose, can help keep the spirit of this community alive and growing in whatever ways work best for us as individuals. For me, it was organizing a canoe trip because I enjoy having fun and sharing the great outdoors with the people I love. What do you enjoy sharing?

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