The Identity Alphabet
The historic strides gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex and asexual(GLBTQQIA) individuals are making worldwide is generating an unprecedented awareness about the different ways people can choose to identify. Keeping track of the many combinations of gender and sexual identities we can embrace may be confusing at times, however, so here’s an overview of the six different Spectrums of Gender and Sexuality, along with an explanation of some terms to help you navigate the ever-growing alphabet. Thanks to Rafi Daugherty, Jude Harrison and Richard Rivers for creating, compiling and editing this information.
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TERMS
* Sexual attraction refers to whom a person is attracted to sexually. Gender identity refers to what gender a person identifies as. The two are unrelated (see chart above).
* Men who identify as gay are attracted to other men.
* Men who identify as bisexual are attracted to both men and women.
* Queer refers to sexual attraction and gender identity minorities who reclaim the word “Queer” with pride.
* Transgender men are men. They may identify as gay, bisexual, polysexual, asexual, or straight. Transgender generally refers to someone who was identified as one gender/biological sex at birth and self identifies as another gender. Like sexual attraction most do not consider gender identity a choice. Transman, Transgender man, Transsexual man, and Female to Male transsexual (FtM) are all names for someone whose biological sex was identified as female at birth and whose gender identity is male. Most Transmen prefer not to bring attention to their birth status, preferring simply be called a man.
* Genderqueer, gendervariant, gender expansive, genderfluid, third gender, nongender and agendered are all terms, with individual nuances, that refer to people who may identify as both or neither male or female or somewhere in between.
* Both polysexual and pansexual refer to individuals who may be attracted to a range of gender identities, including men.
* Asexual individuals have no sexual attraction to others.
* An androgynous individual appears of indeterminate sex.
* Biological sex refers to our chromosomes, our ovaries and/or testicles, our external visible sex characteristics such as genitals, breasts, facial hair, body shape, etc.
* Intersex refers to people whose chromosomes, gonads, and/or physical secondary sex characteristics are a blend of male and female.
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HOW TO BE A GREAT ALLY FOR BI/QUEER/TRANS MEN AT A COLORADO MANREACH GATHERING
Colorado ManREACH serves men who are attracted to men. This includes gay men and bisexual, queer and transgender men, too.
1) At a Colorado ManREACH gathering, all participants identify as men who are attracted to men, therefore “he”, “him”, “his” and “himself” are the appropriate pronouns to use when referring to a Colorado ManREACH participant, unless the participant asks otherwise.
2) Avoid making derogatory comments about people who have sex with women and people who have children.
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HOW TO BE A GREAT ALLY FOR TRANSGENDER INDIVIDUALS EVERYWHERE
1) Accept how an individual identifies even if it doesn’t make sense to you. If someone has told you how they identify, don’t continue to make other assumptions about their identity. Avoid comments and attitudes relating to how well or poorly someone “passes”. If you think someone is “really” one sex even though they’ve told you they’re another, you are mistaken.
2) Pronouns matter! – Use the pronoun that corresponds with how the individual identifies. If you are unsure how a person identifies, it is OK to ask about their pronoun preference. If you make a mistake, briefly apologize and move on after making a mental note to get it right next time. If you keep using an incorrect pronoun for the same person, practice at home or with a friend.
a) If a person uses the wrong pronoun when referring to an individual, it is important to correct the person politely then move on with the conversation.
b) If someone corrects your pronoun use (whether it’s a trans person or an ally), avoid being defensive or expressing your opinion that the individual’s preferred pronoun doesn’t match their gender presentation. Acknowledge the correction and move on with the conversation.
3) Educate yourself! – There are lots of books, websites, films, and workshops (See below).
4) Never “out” a trans person or disclose their identity history unless you have their explicit permission. This is extremely important for the safety and comfort of trans individuals.
5) What not to ask – It is not appropriate to ask questions of a transgender person that you wouldn’t ask a non transgender person, such as what sort of genitals they have, how do they have sex, what was their name before transition, and have they had “The Surgery”.
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OTHER EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES
* www.gendertalk.com
* Orientation Police/The Amazing Adventures of Bill – http://comics.billroundy.com/?p=1116
* The Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition (MTPC)
* Recognize: The Voices of Bisexual Men edited by Robin Ochs and H. Sherif Williams 2014
* My Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein
* Transgender 101 A Simple Guide To A Complex Issue by Nicholas M. Teich
* Just Add Hormones- An Insider’s Guide to the Transsexual Experience by Matt Kailey